In the book Jazz: A History of America’s Music, tenor saxophonist Branford Marsalis recalls a story about a group of young jazz musicians hanging around John Coltrane’s drummer, Elvin Jones. The younger musicians asked Jones how Coltrane’s quartet managed to produce such intensity. In the Ken Burns PBS documentary accompanying the book, Marsalis imitates Jones’s gravely voice, saying:

“You gotta be willing to die with the mother fucker.”

There was no punch line.

And when it comes to coaching and training and finding training partners, this is an important quote to keep in mind in order to maximize not only an athlete’s potential or a coach’s potential, but the potential of every single person in the building. Whether it’s weightlifting, powerlifting, bodybuilding, CrossFit, a jazz concert, or any other environment that requires intensity in order to execute and reach a higher level of performance, you gotta be willing to die with a motherfucker.

This means that you have to be willing to work, not only for yourself, but for the person next to you. Athletes for their coaches. Coaches for their athletes. Athletes for each other. For everyone in there together. Because everyone is going to perform at a higher level if everyone else is willing to go that extra inch for each other or push for one more rep or one more pound when quitting is so much easier. Because you are setting the example for your training partner. And your training partner is setting an example for you. And momentum is a real thing and a great coach can harness it. Whether you know it or not. Whether you’re intending to or not. You are leading by example anytime anybody is looking at you.

Notice Elvin Jones didn’t say you don’t have to be willing to die for a mother fucker. He said you gotta be willing to die with the mother fucker.

You’ve gotta be willing to push.

When it feels gross. And you’re tired. And it hurts. And you want to quit.

You can’t.

Like Aristotle said in his Politics “He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.” And regardless of how you may feel with six hundred pounds on your back, you are not a beast or a god. 

The closest anyone can get is to internalize those immortal words of one of jazz’s greatest drummers. When your hands are on that bar and your coach and partner are there with you, and even when they’re not, you gotta be willing to die with those mother fuckers.

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